Covid and Couples

This could be the Title of a Song or a Poem.  I wonder how would the Lyrics go?

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I’m half Crazy being stuck here in Lockdown with you?

Alternatively, it might go;

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I’m so glad of the chance to have more time to spend with you?

If you fall into the first category, please know that there is help and support available for you.

The Oxford Dictionary defines the word ‘lockdown’ as “ an official order to control the movement of people or vehicles because of a dangerous situation”.

Couples have been under severe pressure as they struggle to adjust to 24/7 living together because of  the Corona Virus induced Lockdown.

We all need our own space from time to time, and this has been denied many as we are ordered to stay indoors, work from home unless we are front line workers, or even worse, being out of work and having to depend on the Pandemic Unemployment Payment to support ourselves and our families.

Home schooling has to be a nightmare.  I remember when my children were in primary school, it used to be such a relief to get the lessons out of the way for the evening and sit back and relax before it was time for bed.  I have often shuddered at the thought of having to partake in home schooling.  I can only imagine the extra pressure involved.

Remember Fear and Anxiety can cause us to ‘not be ourselves’.  This can create enormous tension in the home and make a person extremely difficult to live with.  Try and look objectively at all situations.  See the bigger picture.  Try to exchange anger for compassion.  Seek professional help if needs be.

Zoom has become one of the Buzz Words of Lockdown.  Many therapists, including myself, offer online counselling via this platform.  Counselling by telephone is also available.  In more recent months, I have been offering one to one counselling with strict HSE/Covid guidelines followed.  You are never Alone.

How was your relationship prior to Covid 19?  Was it just ok?  Were you both just wall papering over the cracks as you sought refuge in your work place and had places to go and things to be doing rather than facing this reality?  If so, Lockdown has probably forced you to face the fact that your relationship has been in trouble for quite some time.

Please do not despair, rather see it as an opportunity to be honest with each other and make a decision about trying to save it or else move on and make fresh starts once restrictions are lifted and it is possible to do so.  Let this be a time of looking deep inside yourself and taking ownership of whatever situations life is presenting to you.  Couples counselling provides a safe, confidential and non-judgmental space wherein couples can explore their issues and it can help them make an informed decision about their individual futures.

It also helps them to look at situations more objectively which in turn enables both to be less judgmental and more compassionate towards each other.  It also guides them in ways to communicate more effectively and this creates a strong base for any relationship and may help it to survive.

Remember the Lockdown Rules are waived if you feel unsafe and / or threatened in your home.  I have included some Help Line Numbers should you feel the need to reach out and seek urgent help and support.

HELPLINES

Women’s Aid -1800 341 900

24/7

Freephone For women experiencing domestic abuse

Men’s Aid Ireland

(Men’s Aid Ireland specialize in supporting Men experiencing Domestic Violence whether this is ongoing or in a past relationship.)

Confidential Helpline – 01-5543811

Email:

AWARE

1800 – 80 48 48

Seven days a week. 10am – 10pm . Freephone.  If you are concerned about your mood or the mood of a loved one.

SAMARITANS

116-123

24/7

Freephone. If you are struggling to cope for whatever reason.

PIETA HOUSE

1800- 247 247

24/7

Freephone. For people at risk from suicide and self-harm, or those bereaved by suicide.